Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.