I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.