When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.