masturbate quietly in my room.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.