Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.