Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.