I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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KICK THE CAN

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.