when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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misread dig bick

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.