imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.