Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.