When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.