Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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I eat ass

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Talk to my cat.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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KICK THE CAN

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.