Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Made after doomsday plans

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.