Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

thumb_up thumb_down -36

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

thumb_up thumb_down -40

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

thumb_up thumb_down -46

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

thumb_up thumb_down -64

WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

thumb_up thumb_down -76

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

thumb_up thumb_down -102

The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Talk to my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.