imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.