I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Talk to my cat.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.