when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.