I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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I can't trill my R's

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I eat ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.