I eat ass

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.