When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

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I eat ass

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.