I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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get really confused

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.