Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

laziness .... its all in the mind

Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

I can't trill my R's

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.