When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.