When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.