Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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I can't trill my R's

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.