When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

Play Minecraft

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

open the fridge A eat food B think

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.