wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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get really confused

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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Poop naked.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.