I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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being super bored at shool

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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I eat ass

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.