stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.