I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.