Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Talk to my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

thumb_up thumb_down -27

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

thumb_up thumb_down -47

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

thumb_up thumb_down -51

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

thumb_up thumb_down -65

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.