If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Talk to my cat.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.