Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.