Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Eat ice by itself

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.