When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.