Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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wonder who wrote these things

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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get really confused

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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KICK THE CAN

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.