check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Eat ice by itself

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.