im going to kill that person and get away with it

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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get really confused

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.