- Things You Think Only You Do

When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

sneeze without closing my eyes

On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.