When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Talk to my cat.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.