Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Eat ice by itself

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.