stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

I brush my teeth while im in the shower

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

get really confused

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.