Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.