I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.