when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

Poop naked.

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

sneeze without closing my eyes

place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.