Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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I can't trill my R's

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.