The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.