I masturbate with sandpaper

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.