I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

It's hot but I still have on covers

When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

Brake for tail-gaters

When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

im going to kill that person and get away with it

dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.