Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Ur mum

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.