I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Giving my dog a massage.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.