Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

im going to kill that person and get away with it

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Make hand gestures when talking on phone

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I refuse to forward chain letters

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.