I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.