- Things You Think Only You Do

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

always check thde back seat before starting the car

Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.