The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.