After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Ur mum

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.