Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.