When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.