When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Brake for tail-gaters

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

I refuse to forward chain letters

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.