Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Talk to my cat.

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

Poop naked.

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.