Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Pee in the shower

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.