stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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get really confused

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.