Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.