Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Talk to my cat.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Poop naked.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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This song will not come out of my head!

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.