Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.