stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

thumb_up thumb_down -34

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I brush my teeth while im in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -62

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

get really confused

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.