think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Giving my dog a massage.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

thumb_up thumb_down -63

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

thumb_up thumb_down -129

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.