Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Ur mum

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.