The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.