DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
I AM DISAPPOINT
Pointless Inventions
Scumbag Steve
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I tell inanimate objects what to do.
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-36
While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.
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-38
When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.
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-40
When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.
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-44
Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.
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-46
always check thde back seat before starting the car
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-50
suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.
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-56
Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.
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-62
I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.
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-62
when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt
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-64
When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.
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-80
Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!
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-84
I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.
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+83
Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free
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+39
You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.
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+5
I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML
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+1
Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.
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-1
Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.
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-5
Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first
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-7
When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.
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-9
I meow when my cat meows.
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-11
When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...
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-13
Poop naked.
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-15
Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.
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-15
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.