when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.