I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.