In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

Make hand gestures when talking on phone

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.