Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.