When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Brake for tail-gaters

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.