When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.