Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.