Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

thumb_up thumb_down -31

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I tell inanimate objects what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.