When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

This song will not come out of my head!

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

i see almost everything as a sign

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

Poop naked.

I meow when my cat meows.

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.