Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.