Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Talk to my cat.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Poop naked.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.