when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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Eat ice by itself

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I can't trill my R's

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.