I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.