I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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This song will not come out of my head!

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sing like a pro in da shower

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Pee in the shower

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.