When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.