I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Eat ice by itself

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sing like a pro in da shower

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.