Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.