Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.