spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Poop naked.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Pee in the shower

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.