When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.