When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.