When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Vote for the other guy

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.