fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Vote for the other guy

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.