I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.