Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Eat ice by itself

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.