Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

Eat ice by itself

When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.