My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Poop naked.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.