Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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This song will not come out of my head!

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.