I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.