I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Eat ice by itself

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.