Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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call someone by a siblings name.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.