I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.