I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

I hate being called "buddy".

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

Play with my own boobs for no reason

Eat ice by itself

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.