If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Vote for the other guy

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.