fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Pee in the shower

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.