When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.