daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.