Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.