Boinked my neighbor

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

I pee in the shower. :3

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.