I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.