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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.