Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

always check thde back seat before starting the car

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.