having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.