Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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check shower for murder then pee

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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My parents are annoying.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.