Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.