i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

Think about breathing...

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

I meow when my cat meows.

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

Look at my poop before flushing

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Still record on VHS tapes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.