Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.