When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.