I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.