Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.