Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

I always think I have special powers

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Pretend animals talk to you!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.