Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.