Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.