Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

chew on the side of my teeth

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

This song will not come out of my head!

I masturbate with sandpaper

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.