I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.