i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Think about breathing...

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Look at my poop before flushing

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.