Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.