Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Boinked my neighbor

wen on this website go look at the most disliked

while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

check shower for murder then pee

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.