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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.
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-29
pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light
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-29
A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.
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-31
Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?
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-31
twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound
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-35
Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation
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-35
Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.
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-39
Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?
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-39
Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.
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-41
use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.
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-41
When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.
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-49
When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.
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-53
Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves
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-53
Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.
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-55
I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.
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-57
I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god
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-59
Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them
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-59
Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.
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-59
Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.
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-69
When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.
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-71
Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?
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-77
I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.
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-79
Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.
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-87
I chew around the center of carrots.
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-89
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.