When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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This song will not come out of my head!

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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My parents are annoying.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.