Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Boinked my neighbor

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.