Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

thumb_up thumb_down -25

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

thumb_up thumb_down -29

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

thumb_up thumb_down -75

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.