recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.