I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -50

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.