Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.