I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Vote for the other guy

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.