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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.
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-22
Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side
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-22
think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married
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-22
Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.
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-22
thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that
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-24
When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.
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-26
I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.
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-28
Tally mark everytime I take a shit.
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-28
While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.
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-30
Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)
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-30
My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.
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-30
Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).
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-30
Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read
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-34
I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.
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-36
When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.
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-38
Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.
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-38
When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.
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-38
Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.
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-46
Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.
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-58
Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them
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-62
Think about breathing...
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-64
Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me
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-64
When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.
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-70
when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.
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-70
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.