When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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check shower for murder then pee

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Vote for the other guy

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.