My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Vote for the other guy

thumb_up thumb_down -54

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I push the door open with my stomach

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

bounce when your tip toeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.