Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -10

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Pretend my life is a videogame.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.