If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.