I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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check shower for murder then pee

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.