When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.