Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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My parents are annoying.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.