think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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k. everyone

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.