Vote for the other guy

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I push the door open with my stomach

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.