It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Think about breathing...

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.