Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I think about other women when having sex

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check shower for murder then pee

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.