Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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look at bins as i walk past them

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.