Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Look at my poop before flushing

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.