When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I pee in the shower. :3

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.