I tell inanimate objects what to do.

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.