thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.