I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

I masturbate with sandpaper

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

Brake for tail-gaters

Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

Having gay sex

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.