When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -96

say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -9

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -23

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.