Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.