DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
I AM DISAPPOINT
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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.
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-35
When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.
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-37
Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)
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-39
Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.
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-41
Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.
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-43
fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell
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-45
Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.
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-45
I masturbate with sandpaper
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-47
I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda
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-49
Brake for tail-gaters
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-49
Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.
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-53
I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.
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-57
I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god
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-57
I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.
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-65
Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.
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-73
forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..
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-75
When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.
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-93
Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief
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+16
Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.
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+14
I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?
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+6
Having gay sex
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-10
Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.
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-10
Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...
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-12
When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing
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-14
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.