Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.