Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.