fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I think about other women when having sex

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I never feel bored

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.