spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.