Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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check shower for murder then pee

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.