When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -27

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

thumb_up thumb_down -49

After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

thumb_up thumb_down -81

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.