When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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humiliating little girls

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.