When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

I was the real Stig...

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

get caught up in youtube comment arguments

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

open the fridge A eat food B think

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.