I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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im going to rape that girl

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.