How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I click my teeth to music

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.