When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.