When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Smoking in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,523

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -46

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

thumb_up thumb_down -112

I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +299

You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Putting your bra on your dogs dead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.