I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Pee in the shower.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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KICK THE CAN

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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I rape small children ;).

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When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.