When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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Only use the left earphone.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.