I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Poop naked.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.