I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

thumb_up thumb_down -70

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Think about breathing...

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I hate being called "buddy".

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I'm really picky about how I earn money

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

thumb_up thumb_down

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.