whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Your mom

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.