When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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make food scream if i chop them up.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.