At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.