When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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I was the real Stig...

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.