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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married
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-21
It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.
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+9
Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine
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-43
Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.
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-50
Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.
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-50
I talk to myself when I'm alone
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-106
Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.
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-34
When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.
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+639
Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.
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-16
Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'
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+49
I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.
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-32
i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.
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-44
Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert
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-46
Play Minecraft
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-63
When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.
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-65
While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.
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+27
I rehearse arguments in my head.
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-60
i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.
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+313
join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about
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-56
The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.
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+321
Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.
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-38
Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.
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-71
When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)
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-85
Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine
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-13
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.