Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.