I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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Think about blinking, and then realize that when you think about blinking, you can't stop thinking about blinking, and thus a 3-4 minute awkward blinking-fest begins.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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I eat ass

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.