The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I chew my ice cream.

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.