imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.