Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,727

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -800

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Sitting next to a banana called James

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I know how to type a ¿

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

thumb_up thumb_down +1,410

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,661

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -9

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

thumb_up thumb_down +1,593

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.