I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.