When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

Only use the left earphone.

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.