stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.