When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.