Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.