Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I think about other women when having sex

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I read the down voted posts

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.