after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.