I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

pull out a flies wings and let it go

TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

I hold my breath in elevators

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.