Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.