Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

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sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.