Stay up late on the weekdays and go to bed early on the weekends ..... What is wrong with me?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

thumb_up thumb_down +91

When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

R A P E Children

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -131

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

thumb_up thumb_down -80

play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.