When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Stay up late on the weekdays and go to bed early on the weekends ..... What is wrong with me?

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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R A P E Children

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.