Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Pee in the shower.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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R A P E Children

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.