Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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R A P E Children

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.