Eating chicken at KFC.

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

Pretend animals talk to you!

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

Thinking your life is a movie...

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.