when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.