If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Having gay sex

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.