when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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listen to madonnas new album

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Think about breathing...

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.