Eating chicken at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

thumb_up thumb_down -54

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -3

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.