Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Play as both sides on fifa

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.