I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.