Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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My parents are annoying.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.