Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

My parents are annoying.

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

Still record on VHS tapes.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

Take off the ends of the banana (

Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.