Play with my own boobs for no reason

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.