Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

I pee in the shower. :3

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

Play as both sides on fifa

humiliating little girls

Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

Brake for tail-gaters

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.