pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.