Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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humiliating little girls

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.