When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Having gay sex

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.