After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.