Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

thumb_up thumb_down

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I push the door open with my stomach

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Having gay sex

thumb_up thumb_down -10

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pretend i'm a sim.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.