Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.