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Clarksonisms
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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking
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-36
Videotape my mother in the shower.
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-38
I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km
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-40
Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.
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-42
CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!
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-42
When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.
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-50
Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.
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-50
When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.
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-52
I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.
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-52
Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.
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-54
When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.
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-58
Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends
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-60
Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.
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-62
Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O
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-70
Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet
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-78
don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time
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-78
Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you
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-86
I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.
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-98
When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.
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-102
I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.
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+49
When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.
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+21
When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.
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+11
Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.
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+7
look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now
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+5
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.