When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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I never feel bored

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.