I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Boinked my neighbor

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.