I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Pee in the shower

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.