Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -108

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.