speak proper english

thumb_up thumb_down -78

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

thumb_up thumb_down -80

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Eating chicken at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

test how many stares you can scale in one step

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I have never watched Star Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -39

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.