Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Having gay sex

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.