I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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I never feel bored

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I think about other women when having sex

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.