When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

thumb_up thumb_down -31

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Play with my own boobs for no reason

thumb_up thumb_down -45

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.