I think about other women when having sex

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.