listen to madonnas new album

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.