strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.