I wonder why people were happy after the last election

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +28

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

thumb_up thumb_down +8

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Having gay sex

thumb_up thumb_down -10

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.