When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Brake for tail-gaters

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.