I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Having gay sex

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.