When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.