fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.