you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Having gay sex

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I think about other women when having sex

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.