When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I meow when my cat meows.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.