pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Think about breathing...

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My parents are annoying.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.