When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -100

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -109

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -113

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.