Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.