i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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I have seen a UFO

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.