Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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blink

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Poo really loud

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.