I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.