If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

I never feel bored

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Take off the ends of the banana (

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.