when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.