i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

thumb_up thumb_down -136

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I hate being called "buddy".

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.