When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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check shower for murder then pee

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.