taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.