While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.