Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

I mean Diana Ross.

Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

I hold my breath in elevators

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

I don't read the terms of service.

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.