when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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My parents are annoying.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I always think I have special powers

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.