Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.