listen to madonnas new album

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Think about breathing...

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.