I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.