Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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I think about other women when having sex

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.