Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.