Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Having gay sex

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.