Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

I pee in the shower. :3

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

Play as both sides on fifa

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

Boinked my neighbor

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.