Play with my own boobs for no reason

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.