Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.