Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.