- Things You Think Only You Do

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

Look at my poo before I flush it.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.