i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.