when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

Brake for tail-gaters

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.