When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.