My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I think about other women when having sex

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.