Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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I think about other women when having sex

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.