Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.