Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.