When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.