Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.