Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.