I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.