Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

Brake for tail-gaters

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

Think about breathing...

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

I chew around the center of carrots.

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.