- Things You Think Only You Do

Look at my poop before flushing

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

Brake for tail-gaters

Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Think about breathing...

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.