Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.