When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

I never feel bored

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

Pretend animals talk to you!

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.