Look at my poop before flushing

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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My parents are annoying.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.