Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I meow when my cat meows.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.