Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.