Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Boinked my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -21

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Look at my poop before flushing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.