Play as both sides on fifa

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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call someone by a siblings name.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Look at my poop before flushing

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.