When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -9

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I never feel bored

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

thumb_up thumb_down -85

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.