When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.