Pretend i'm a sim.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.