I can't piss with my shoes on.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.