Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.