I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Think about breathing...

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.