Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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blink

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Poo really loud

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.