Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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blink

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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listen to madonnas new album

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Poo really loud

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Think about breathing...

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.