Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.