Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Having gay sex

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.