I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I think about other women when having sex

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.