Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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blink

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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k. everyone

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.