When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

k. everyone

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.