When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Having gay sex

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.