I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.