- Things You Think Only You Do

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

Pee in the shower

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.