Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.