I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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listen to madonnas new album

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.