THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.