after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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fap

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I have a phobia of incest

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.