Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.