Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.