Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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I never feel bored

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.