I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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humiliating little girls

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.