I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Boinked my neighbor

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Make up a song to yourself.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.