Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Boinked my neighbor

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.