Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Boinked my neighbor

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.