I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I pee in the shower. :3

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.