When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.