Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.