When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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My parents are annoying.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.