- Things You Think Only You Do

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

k. everyone

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.