When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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humiliating little girls

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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k. everyone

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.