spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I pee in the shower. :3

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.