When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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humiliating little girls

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.