When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.