Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

Smoking in the shower.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.