I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.