Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

thumb_up thumb_down -65

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +28

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

thumb_up thumb_down -54

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.