Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.