as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

thumb_up thumb_down +30

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.