Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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My parents are annoying.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.