pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Having gay sex

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.