think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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check shower for murder then pee

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humiliating little girls

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.