I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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I think about other women when having sex

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.