Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.