fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.