I hate being called "buddy".

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.