sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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humiliating little girls

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Boinked my neighbor

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.