Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.