- Things You Think Only You Do

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

humiliating little girls

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Take off the ends of the banana (

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.