after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.