I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Boinked my neighbor

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.