I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

thumb_up thumb_down -90

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Having gay sex

thumb_up thumb_down -9

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.