Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

I push the door open with my stomach

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

I think about other women when having sex

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

k. everyone

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.