Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.