When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.