When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

Eating chicken at KFC.

Brake for tail-gaters

look at bins as i walk past them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.