Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Play as both sides on fifa

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -53

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

thumb_up thumb_down -85

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.