After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I push the door open with my stomach

thumb_up thumb_down -11

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.