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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

Brake for tail-gaters

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

My parents are annoying.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.