Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down -34

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -42

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I masturbate with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down -52

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I have seen a UFO

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.