When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.