when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

thumb_up thumb_down -59

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -147

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

thumb_up thumb_down +18

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.