When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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humiliating little girls

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.