as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.