Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.