- Things You Think Only You Do

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

fall asleep in the shower.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

Feels my beard with my tongue.

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.