I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.