I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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blink

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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listen to madonnas new album

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Mayada stupid

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.