Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Think about breathing...

thumb_up thumb_down -61

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -87

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -89

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

thumb_up thumb_down -115

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +42

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

thumb_up thumb_down

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.