When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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blink

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Poo really loud

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.