Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.