- Things You Think Only You Do

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

k. everyone

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.